A very common myth prevails in our society that if a man respects his mother than he will respect his wife and keep her happy. Though to some extent this might hold true, it does not necessarily under every episode we come across related to domestic violence.

Every other day we read about incidences related to domestic violence in newspapers. Our daily maids, who help us, are full of such stories to relate on the lightest pretext.

It is really surprising how come so many men think it's alright to be physically and emotionally abusive towards women? No doubt they are sick human beings who adapt ways like verbal, sexual, physical, mental or emotional abuse to be in control of a relationship and satisfy their false ego.

Mostly abusive men are skilled at playing such games, and apply different tactics like anger, violence, jealousy, mood swings, manipulation, withholding emotional and sexual contact and further controlling games to harass the victim.

"Action speaks, louder than words" rings true when dealing with abusive men. They say one thing and act contrary to it.  At one point they may tell you that they love you profusely and will change now on, also they say that they will not repeat abusive actions but once you give in they will return to their controlling self, stronger than before. Their fort is empty promises and emotional blackmailing.

We have an astounding statistic from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence it says – one out of four women will be falling prey to domestic violence in her lifetime. Half of the cases remain unreported as more and more victims remain mute about their provoked situations due to fear factor. There is a factor of trauma too. Especially when you have been hit by the man you love, you become without sensation. There is society who blames you for your choice and also there's privacy engaged. To top it all there's always a message from the attackers: "Don't tell anyone."

But, there is one vital moment when victims can't any more put up with this despair any longer. What is required initially is heaps of optimism and little luck factor, for this concluding moment to dawn on the victim.

There are some women who fall from frying pan into fire specially those who have just come out of a relationship with an abusive husband normally are just dying to get into another relationship as soon as possible. They feel deprived psychologically and lonely which they are indeed for a long time. But some soul searching and precaution are essential in order not to fall in the same trap again.

It's high time that today's strong willed femme should stand against such atrocities and fight against domestic violence in any form. I firmly believe that a dream, a list of goals and a set of friends are needed to come out of such hate-hate relationship. Rebuilding their self-esteem and offering support is something we all can do if we know of any such unfortunate victim.

Now question that arises is "Do such men come with some sort of warning labels? How do we spot them?"

Given below are some signs to help spot the abusive man and save a life.

1. He is pushy type who pushes too fast and too far, pretending to be planning your future for you.
2. He disrespects and hates his mother occasionally blaming her.
3. He is sickly possessive demanding your undivided attention.
4. He wants to control and take charge forever.
5. He wants to win perpetually.
6. He has right to break promises all the time.
7. He hates if you criticize him and will give explanations for his actions.
8. He blames you or someone else for anything that goes wrong.
9. He is jealous of your family, close friends, and all other who come in your contact.
10. He has extreme mood swings.
11. He is mostly unpredictable and short tempered.
12. He often thinks of you as duffer and good for nothing person.
13. He withdraws his love or approval as penalty.
14. He insists you to do things which make you uneasy, like signing bank papers, taking the day off from office, or even breaking the law.