Twas The Night Before The Wedding
Twas the night before the wedding and all through the condos
Not a child or dog was stirring, not even the lesbos.
The dress was hung in the closet we share,
In hopes that at the wedding, our friends would be there.
Chris and I were snuggled up in our bed,
While visions of sex and wedding cake danced in my head.
Chris in my ol? blue Polo shirt, and I in bed at last,
Had just settled down, as I put my hand on her ass.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from our bed to see what was the matter!
Away to the patio window I flew,
Tore open the blinds and the screen door too!
The moon was bright on a full fall night,
Gave a luster to all the leaves and pumpkins in sight.
When what to my sleepy eyes should appear,
But a rainbow flag and eight tiny queers,
With a little Drag Queen so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment, it must be RuPaul?s side kick!
More make-up than Tammy Faye, with hair like a mane,
She whistled and shouted and called them by name:
?Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer, and Vixen!
On Cummet! On, Cupid! On Bonner! On, Licksum!
To the top of the porch, spread love to all,
Now dance away, dance away, and take the disco ball!?
So up to the housetop the dancers they flew,
With a flag full of ?toys?, and the Drag Queen too!
And then in a twinkle I heard them all jeer,
The dancing and prancing, of each little queer.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Through my front door the Queen came with a sound.
She was in a silver dress that looked like a ball gown,
With the mic to her mouth she started to sing,
My ears could not believe she knew the L Word?s opening theme!
A bundle of toys and lotion strapped to her back,
She looked like a porn star, opening her pack.
Her eyes how they twinkled! Her dimples how marry!
Her boobs falling out, no telling? when she lost her cherry.
Her little mouth was drawn up saying, ?Ho, Ho, Ho!?
And her butt was cold from bending over out in the snow.
A joint she held tight in her teeth,
And the smoke encircled her head like a wreath.
She had a tight little ass, and a little round belly,
That she held in with her girdle as not to spill the jelly.
She was chubby and plum -- A right jolly queer elf,
And I laughed when I saw her in spite of myself.
A wink of her eye, and a twist of her head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
She spoke not a word, but went straight to work,
She left lots of toys, before turning with a jerk.
And laying her finger aside her nose,
She sang one more song, and out the door she goes?
She sprang to her flag and to her team gave a whistle,
Away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But, I heard her exclaim as they danced out of sight:
Marriage For All; Men and Women alike,
We All Deserve The Same Equal Rights!!
Written by Kristi, St. Louis, MO
Not a child or dog was stirring, not even the lesbos.
The dress was hung in the closet we share,
In hopes that at the wedding, our friends would be there.
Chris and I were snuggled up in our bed,
While visions of sex and wedding cake danced in my head.
Chris in my ol? blue Polo shirt, and I in bed at last,
Had just settled down, as I put my hand on her ass.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from our bed to see what was the matter!
Away to the patio window I flew,
Tore open the blinds and the screen door too!
The moon was bright on a full fall night,
Gave a luster to all the leaves and pumpkins in sight.
When what to my sleepy eyes should appear,
But a rainbow flag and eight tiny queers,
With a little Drag Queen so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment, it must be RuPaul?s side kick!
More make-up than Tammy Faye, with hair like a mane,
She whistled and shouted and called them by name:
?Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer, and Vixen!
On Cummet! On, Cupid! On Bonner! On, Licksum!
To the top of the porch, spread love to all,
Now dance away, dance away, and take the disco ball!?
So up to the housetop the dancers they flew,
With a flag full of ?toys?, and the Drag Queen too!
And then in a twinkle I heard them all jeer,
The dancing and prancing, of each little queer.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Through my front door the Queen came with a sound.
She was in a silver dress that looked like a ball gown,
With the mic to her mouth she started to sing,
My ears could not believe she knew the L Word?s opening theme!
A bundle of toys and lotion strapped to her back,
She looked like a porn star, opening her pack.
Her eyes how they twinkled! Her dimples how marry!
Her boobs falling out, no telling? when she lost her cherry.
Her little mouth was drawn up saying, ?Ho, Ho, Ho!?
And her butt was cold from bending over out in the snow.
A joint she held tight in her teeth,
And the smoke encircled her head like a wreath.
She had a tight little ass, and a little round belly,
That she held in with her girdle as not to spill the jelly.
She was chubby and plum -- A right jolly queer elf,
And I laughed when I saw her in spite of myself.
A wink of her eye, and a twist of her head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
She spoke not a word, but went straight to work,
She left lots of toys, before turning with a jerk.
And laying her finger aside her nose,
She sang one more song, and out the door she goes?
She sprang to her flag and to her team gave a whistle,
Away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But, I heard her exclaim as they danced out of sight:
Marriage For All; Men and Women alike,
We All Deserve The Same Equal Rights!!
Written by Kristi, St. Louis, MO