Cards

• A card may seem like an impersonal way to express your condolences, but if you don't know the person who has passed away, it can be a good option. Choose a card that expresses that you are sorry for the loss and offer whatever help you are comfortable, such as babysitting. Send the card to the person's home instead of to the funeral home or the home of the deceased's immediate family.
  
  

Call

• If you want to offer something a little more personal to your friend, call and talk to your friend directly. You may want to wait a couple of days to allow things to settle down for him before you bother him with a phone call. Offer an ear to listen and ask if he would like to go out for lunch or for coffee. You may also want to consider visiting your friend, but always call first to make sure he is feeling up to visitors. Maintaining a sense of normalcy can help some people get over a death more easily.
  
  

Help Out

• Depending on how close your friend is to the deceased person, she may have a difficult time functioning in her daily life. As her friend, you can offer your condolences by helping out with daily tasks. Make a dinner to share with her family. You don't need to eat it with her, but take it to her home and allow her to share it with her family. Cleaning up her home is another way you can help her out in her time of need.
  
  

Memorials

• Some people choose to send a plant or flowers to the funeral home or church in memory of the deceased. However, if you didn't personally know the person, it isn't proper etiquette to send these items directly to the family. Instead, you can send a plant or floral arrangement to your friend to show him that you care. If the family has requested donations to a charity instead, you can also consider making a donation and letting your friend know you have done so.
  
  

Funeral Attendance

• One of the biggest questions you may face is whether it is appropriate for you to attend the funeral. If you didn't know the deceased, your presence at the funeral is generally not required or expected. However, if you are close to a relative of the deceased, it is not inappropriate for you to attend in support of your friend. Having someone who is there to offer hugs and to listen, as well as someone who isn't directly involved, can have a calming influence.